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Submitted on
October 11, 2012
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The leaves within the forest dance,
As the wind sings it's lonesome hymn,
We spy our traveller at a glance.

Our traveller marches quickly on,
At speeds truly unsurpassed,
For he knows the ground he walks upon.

But unluckily twilight has past,
And now for him,
A night that shall forever last.

As the wind sings it's lonesome hymn,
Our lonesome traveller lies trapped within. 

A wrote this a while back, just never got around to submitting it.
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:iconanovoca:
Anovoca Oct 12, 2012   Writer
Reads very well, good stuff. I also had a bit of trouble figuring it out but its hard to eloquently paint a complete picture in so few phrases.
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:iconxximmortaldarkxx:
XxImmortalDarkxX Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the input, I was thinking of writing a bit more, but I decided against it. I don't normally write long poems, so I thought to keep it short.
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:iconanovoca:
Anovoca Oct 12, 2012   Writer
Never sacrafice quality for length. :)
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:iconxximmortaldarkxx:
XxImmortalDarkxX Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
A though I shall use in future writing, thanks.
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:iconcandyzombielord:
candyzombielord Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So if I'm getting this right. the lonesome traveler has died all alone or the ground underneath collapsed and he is trapped underground. in all it was great and wish to see more. me i tried to make a poem and it turned into a short story. which i will post once I've done writing it. i may post it tomorrow.
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:iconxximmortaldarkxx:
XxImmortalDarkxX Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The traveller is trapped within the forest of his dreams, to wonder a darkness of his own creation.

I look forward to reading it.
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:iconcandyzombielord:
candyzombielord Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i was kinda close. and ya. you might like it.
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:iconxximmortaldarkxx:
XxImmortalDarkxX Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You work fast. I only just submitted this.
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:iconthereallykid:
i didn't even notice :D XD but yea and speaking of working fast my next video is near completion its actually just a bunch of fails and stupid rules about mh3
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